Wish you a great holiday season. And here’s to a better 2009….

In the past I’ve been able to bang up some light and humorous (if I do say so myself) Christmas letters. Not so much this year. Why so grim?

The legal system isn’t funny: A long story made short

The builders of our property (gee, dishonest building contractors in Brooklyn, what a novel concept) failed to waterproof it, took over two years to get a certificate of occupancy, didn’t complete the windows, etc. They sued us in small claims court over a $2,000.00 escrow that for obvious reasons we did not want to release before our grievances were addressed. In response, we entered quite a doozy of a counter claim against them. But, because they have lawyers permanently posted in Brooklyn small claims court we would have been subjected to continuances until either we died or murdered them. We eventually settled out of court for some of the costs to make our house right.

Ok, there is something funny about this. New York is frighteningly deficient in reality TV material. I got no less than three solicitations to have my small claims case heard on court TV shows. I was totally prepared to bleach my hair, knock out a front tooth and don some age inappropriate gear for the cameras. I’d plead insanity and have to be frog marched out by the court officers. But, the lying snake developer wouldn’t come out from hiding behind his lawyers long enough to face the blond and crazy me. What a coward. I hate him.

Oh, and there’s something else funny about this. Small claims court really is about justice for the common folk. We finally got the big bad developer to settle with us in between “applications” and “continuances”. Because we are probably the only people who ever managed to settle a case against those clowns, the court officers at Brooklyn Small Claims thanked us and said to “come back any time for coffee or whatever”.

Investment banking isn’t funny:

I used to work at Lehman Brothers and John still works at Merrill Lynch (ouch).

Except for the few good people who hadn’t already left Lehmans, it couldn’t have happened to a more appropriate bunch of jerks. Going forward they will only have the deep fat fryer and the cole slaw bucket to mismanage through fear and intimidation.

The economy isn’t funny:

As New York City residents our tax burden is the highest in the nation. It feels good to be numero uno at something. YEAH!!!!!!

Global warming isn’t funny:

Well, actually it kinda is to George Bush.

Recreational sports are not funny:

I still drag myself out of bed at 5:30 AM to try to ice skate like people 40 years younger and 2 feet shorter than me. The attendees of the Wollman Rink Skating School Ice Show were treated to a group of us adults doing a little number to “I’m Every Woman”. A few of the parents there to see their children skate were in awe of our sassy yet sophisticated interpretation of the music. At least that was my take on “I didn’t know that adults skate here too”…..

Politics are not funny, but can be heartwarming:

I was on the B61 bus in the very early AM the day after Eliot Spitzer confessed to his “socks on” action with Ms. Dupre. Someone said: “hey how about that s.o.b. Eliot” to the bus driver. I immediately bristled over his misuse of power as AG to target Wall Street and Martha Stewart. The guy next to me couldn’t get a change of venue for his incarceration to be nearer to his family. Someone else said that their arraignment at Rikers Island took so %&^! long they lost their apartment in the projects. One world, one people, all pissed off at Spitzer.

All the best,

Amy

don’t you just looooove clip art?

Here’s a snap from the (formerly leaky) roof of my building. Cargo cranes framed by lower Manhattan, you can practically smell the romance.